...

so there i was
in complete surrender
to the man i love...

...

undesired

He is all I crave and this is my curse
Why my heart must be sealed like a grave
For what fate can be worse
Than to know the thrill and passion of fire
And to suddenly find yourself still undesired…

Anon.

i am moving on...finally...

Today I realized my worth.. After months of torturing myself with remorse for hurting the man who loved me, after nights of silent weeping, after countless desperate attempts of winning him back, I decided to stop! To live again and love myself...

My life doesn't have to stop here... I know I've hurt him really bad, but I know that I made the right decision. He deserves someone who could love him just as much as he does.. And it's something that I can't give him.. I tried but I just can't.. not anymore.. It's time to let go...

I also realized that moving on doesn't have to involve another man, or a new relationship.. Love on the rebound would just hurt more. Being in love is always great, but it has to be for the right reasons. I have to start loving myself first...

It's time for me to regain myself.. To gather what I have lost. To make new friends... to win back old friends... to enjoy life.. to party... to dance... to sing.. to laugh...to go for the things I want... to follow my dreams.. to do the things I failed to do, the things I missed... .to smile... to be happy...to be myself..


Today, a friend asked me to join a mountaineering organization. We are planning to go mountain climbing in February. I said Yes!:) and I'm so excited..I can't wait. This is just the perfect diversion that I need...

Yes to a new beginning!!!:)
LIFE IS GREAT!

tell me how...

tell me how to stop the sun
from giving me warmth
against the chilly air

tell me how to stop the rain
from falling
when I love the feel of its droplets
on my skin

tell me how to resist you
when you're so damn irresistible

tell me how not to think of you
when I can't think of nothing else
but your face and your smile

tell me how not to feel what I feel
when you had your lips locked with mine
in a sweet passionate kiss
when you had your arms around me
pulling me closer

it tortures me how you remind me of that promise
of depriving myself of such a wonderful feeling
even when I expect nothing in return

But it was a promise
And I know I have to keep it
For I know it's the only way to make you stay
a little longer...

or for a while, perhaps, if I get lucky...


xxx

trapped from within

if i have to lie
just to make you stay
even just for a little longer
then i will...

even to myself...


i know how this would end
but like a magnet,
i'm drawn into it
like a fire to a moth...

***