thoughts of you still lingers
i wonder when this would stop
should i use somebody else as a distraction
or should i just wait
till you stop visiting in my dreams
till i forget the way you kissed me
till i forget the way you laugh
till i forget you sleeping beside me
till i forget your face
till i forget how you look like ...
till i forget you
oftentimes, i also wonder
if i ever cross your mind
if you ever think of me
perhaps not...
i'm glad you're happy
just sad that it wasn't because of me
i just wish you did not regret you had me
even just for a while
for it was good while it lasted...
it was, for me...
i still miss you...
i still wish you'd come back...
***
why do i always fall for the wrong guy...
... and so it ended
as was expected...
it did hurt nevertheless...
especially when he told me
how much he loves her
it hurts even more to know
that my existence in his life was unwanted
that i was just a mere distraction
that i was the evil one, the antagonist
in his oh-so-perfect love story
and yet, despite everything,
i still love him...
was it right for me to take all the blame?
well, what can i say...
after all, i brought this to myself, haven't i?
i knew it would come,
just didn't expect it would hurt as much
as it does now
most of the times, we try to find meanings in all things
as if there's a reason for everything
as if the people we meet
serve a purpose in our lives
when really, in some occasions,
things just happen for no reason at all...
people come and go...
just that...
plain and simple...
you fall in love,
it didn't work, apparently
you realized that you have put yourself
in some bizarre fantasy world
where you can have whatever your heart desires
then you wake up one day,
and you find out that everything was just a dream
some dream that died long before it had the chance to live
and no matter how painful it is,
you just have to accept the fact
That to him, you are nothing...
were those few stolen moments worth it?
perhaps...
perhaps not...
but like you always say to yourself,
you cannot undo things that already happened...
